i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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