Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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