Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
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we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
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Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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