ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
