i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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