it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
thus making me awesome and them whores
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
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I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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