dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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