That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
