theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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