I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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