if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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