Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
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Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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