lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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