ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
