I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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