Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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