Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
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this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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