I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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