Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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