Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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