Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
