i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize