Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
