Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize