He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
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He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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