Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
