the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
