god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
my being single is dangerous.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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