i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
