How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize