well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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