4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think a kid would responsible me up
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left