Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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