no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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