dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
