I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize