he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
