This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
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Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
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you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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