Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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