It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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