that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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