you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
