So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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