I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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