Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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