I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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