so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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