we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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