Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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