I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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