it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
